The Case for Teaching Kids 'Vagina,' 'Penis,' and 'Vulva'
Sex-abuse prevention educators want children to understand that
"private parts" are private in that they're off limits to others. But they also
want students to be comfortable talking about them, in what linguists call
"standard" dialect for body parts, rather than euphemisms and colloquialisms
normanack/flickr
One bright morning in
late March, Kate
Rohdenburg, a sexual violence prevention educator, sat cross-legged on the
floor of a first-grade classroom. In her arms, she cradled two plastic baby
dolls, one brown, one beige, each with its own miniature cloth diaper.
Thirty minutes into her
lesson, Rohdenburg had already covered several foundational concepts of child
sexual abuse prevention -- consent, empathy, body rights, privacy.
"Face!""Nose!""Belly!""Mouth! ""Toes!" The children called out.
"We all have a heart!" one child shouted.
"They both have penises!" shouted another, eliciting a burst of delighted giggles.
The mother pulled her daughter from class. "You've destroyed her innocence!" she shouted at the school's counselor."Do you think?" Rohdenburg asked. "Does everyone have a penis?
"Noooo!" The children laughed in silly-you incredulity.
In the last year,
Rohdenburg, who works in New England's Upper Valley, a region that straddles the
New Hampshire-Vermont border, has said "penis" and "vagina" in the public school
classrooms of more than 500 children, K through 12. She's said "penis" and
"vagina" with their teachers and parents, too, some 400 or so in all. As part of
the growing
movement to implement abuse prevention in schools and other youth-serving
organizations, Rohdenburg and other
educators believe that teaching what linguists call "standard" dialect for
body parts -- rather than euphemisms and colloquialisms -- is important.
Teaching children anatomically correct terms, age-appropriately, says Laura
Palumbo, a prevention specialist with the National Sexual Violence Resource Center
(NSVRC), promotes positive body image, self confidence, and parent-child
communication; discourages perpetrators; and, in the event of abuse, helps
children and adults navigate the disclosure and forensic interview process.
Despite evidence of
their protective value, the words cause trouble sometimes. Two weeks after
Rohdenburg gave her lesson in March, as required by a new state
law, a biology teacher at a public high school in Idaho said "vagina" in one
of his classes. Several parents filed complaints against the teacher, Tim
McDaniel, and now he is under
investigation. Last June, Michigan State Representative Lisa Brown was banned
from Lansing's state house floor after she said "vagina." One sexual-abuse
prevention trainer in New England tells the story of a mother who discovered her
first-grader had learned the word "penis" in school. The mother pulled her
daughter from class. "You've destroyed her innocence!" she shouted at the
school's counselor.
Yet while cases like
these make headlines, educators increasingly believe--and parents seem
increasingly to accept--that teaching and using plain and accurate language to
describe the human body can help children live healthier lives. "We need
all adults to be partners in teaching healthy childhood sexual
development," says NSVRC's Palumbo, and "square one is body parts." Educators
and parents should communicate accurately, without stigma or shame, she says.
This helps children who "have important health questions or an experience
they're concerned about talk with adults about their concerns," whether the
child is seven or seventeen. Parents
are children's most important teachers, it's true, but, as educators like
Palumbo notes, not every one of the 55
million children who goes to school in America each day comes home to a
CDC-ideal "safe, stable, and nurturing environment." One
study indicates 34 percent of child sexual abuse offenders are family
members. Meanwhile, one
in ten students reports being sexually victimized by school employees,
predominantly teachers and coaches.
"We described the relevant research and the reasons for using anatomically correct terms -- to give children the language they need should they need to report, especially should they need to report to law enforcement or the department of social services."
Anthony Rizzuto, Ph.D.,
is the child psychologist who oversaw implementation
of prevention education in Catholic schools and churches in more than 360 Boston
parishes, more than 210,000 children in all, in the wake of revelations of
widespread abuse there. It was a time of very high emotion, Rizzuto says, with
"a lot of anger, a lot of distrust." The issue of language came up at just about
every informational meeting held, Rizzuto says. "In response, we described the
relevant research and the reasons for using anatomically correct terms -- to
give children the language they need should they need to report, especially
should they need to report to law enforcement or the department of social
services." While it's hard to measure the impact of teaching anatomically
accurate terms within the context of the comprehensive programs put in place,
Rizzuto says, "the children came to learn that school and church was a safe
environment to disclose and that if they chose to do that, people around them
would know what to do to make it stop." Reports were tracked, he says, and
indicated "an increase in children who were self-disclosing ... Children got
comfortable, and started coming to teachers and parents."
"Because it is!" the children answered.
Here lies the heart of the matter, when it comes to sex-abuse prevention: Educators like Rohdenburg want children to understand that their "private parts" are just that--private and off limits to others. But they also want students to be comfortable talking about these body parts, and with the words that describe them. "We don't want kids to think they're going to get in trouble by asking questions about sexual matters and health," Palumbo says. When officials pull a teacher into an investigation or escort a legislator from her state house floor for using the word "vagina," or a parent removes a child from a class that uses the word "penis," children are more likely to think their questions will get them in trouble, she says. This shuts down communication, reinforcing the culture of secrets and silence perpetrators rely on for cover. This is why Rohdenburg holds meetings with school staff and parents before her classes, and explains to them the reasons she uses the accurate words that everyone understands.
Prevention educators
like Rohdenburg and Rizzuto note that teaching the terms needed to describe the
human body is only one small piece of a complicated puzzle. Ideally, current
research-based prevention models are implemented
systematically, and include policies and procedures for a safe school
environment, training for all staff, parent engagement and education, and,
finally, a child-focused curriculum that includes a language component. "In the
end, we're talking about changing some of the deepest-set norms," says Monique
Hoeflinger, senior program officer for the Ms. Foundation for Women's campaign to end child
sexual abuse.
"Penis!" The children shouted, seeing the diaper-free baby.
Rohdenburg held up the second baby.
"Vagina!" They called out, laughing.
"Sometimes we giggle because we don't talk about vaginas and penises a lot," said Rohdenburg matter-of-factly, after introducing another word, "vulva." "But it's a body part," she said, "a private body part."